The Tube has always been a fantastical land of Elephants and Castles, but things are becoming positively mythic.
First, 300 schoolchildren took a joyride in an empty Tube train, travelling from Finchley to Bank on the Northern Line. London Underground claim the private train was to celebrate the 200th annviersary of St Mary’s Primary. But this is just a cover-up to prevent panic. The truth: the tiny-tots wrested control with their terrifying mental powers. They have declared themselves Chtonic Rulers of the Underverse, and punish all who refuse to obey.
Next, honest-to-goodness ZEBRA CENTAURS (Zentaurs?) are roaming the London Underground, like it’s the time of bloody yore. A Reddit user spotted this mighty half man/half zebra/half stilt walker in Islington last week. The Dungeons & Dragons manual tell us centaurs are mighty warriors skilled with a bow and arrow. I would pay money to watch it attempt the escalator.
So there you have it: Child Princes and Zentaurs. Did Crossrail accidentally tunnel into Narnia?